And while few of us are faced with the imminent danger of being eaten by a bear (in which case a surge of anxiety is a plus!), perceived threat is everywhere.
Here are some examples:
Self-Doubt
Is this what I should be doing? Do I deserve it? Am I happy? Is it ok for someone to make me feel uncomfortable? Maybe I’m just too sensitive?
When faced with self-doubt, anxious thoughts swirl around like a bunch of bees in our stomach. It can feel so loud and confusing that we lose who we truly are and what we want.
The other piece that can add to self-doubt is expectations. The expectation that we should have it all figured out and shouldn’t be worried or struggling. As you can imagine, this leads to more self-doubt. Alas, the cycle continues…
Self-doubt comes along with nearly every meaningful endeavor – meeting new people, putting your creative life out in the world, growth, and learning new things about ourselves. If you have absolutely no self-doubt, chances are you aren’t taking much risk or growing.
What helps is getting help. Finding a safe person that has been there before and can lead the way. And knowing mistakes are part of learning, they don’t define us and failure can actually propel us forward.
Social Anxiety
A really fun aspect of anxiety is feeling socially anxious, and goes something like this:
Did I just say something stupid? Will they like me? What do other people think of me? How do I look cool when I really feel very awkward right now? What if I disappoint someone?
Caring what other people think is healthy and helps to build empathy and compassion for how others feel, but being defined by what other people think creates big problems. Like with self-doubt, you lose yourself. What do you want? What makes you happy? How do you embrace your most authentic self?
When we get wrapped up in how others perceive us, we feel off-kilter. We give away some personal power to others – “as long as you like me, I can like me.”
Unfortunately, being your true self means not everyone will like you, your choices, or what you stand for. It comes along with being yourself. Not everyone will agree with your values, political views, or align with what you stand for. That is to be expected and comes along with the territory. As long as you feel proud of who you are and the choices you make, it’s easier to manage social anxiety and the perception of others.
Getting clear about what you’re about helps with anxiety. It may still be there, but it makes it more tolerable.
Learning, trying new things, and being brave with your life will undoubtedly provide opportunities that you couldn’t imagine when you’re caught in the anxiety of day-to-day decisions. So, get out there, be brave, and go after what you want!
You deserve it the best life has to offer!
Please join us back here on Wednesday for 10 of my best tips when anxiety feels overwhelming for you!
