Items like the Swiss army knife, The Steinway Piano, a pair of Levi’s, a martini, a Mont Blanc pen all “exhibit the rare and mysterious ability to be exactly what they ought to be.”
For example, if you subtract or add anything to the Swiss army knife, it loses something. It is no longer perfectly itself instead feels stilted, overstuffed, or lacking.
This idea also provides a great framework for our inner lives – a goal to be quintessentially ourselves.
We can aim for honesty and authenticity in our thoughts, behavior, generosity, and love toward ourselves and others, to be more present and comfortable with ourselves.
I’ve noticed that life’s problems tend to pull us into one of two reactions: denial or a state of over-identification and both impulses lack quintessence. Being in denial means you are avoidant and refuse to engage with the true facts of life leaving you feeling helpless and bleak, but over-identifying with problems prevents you from making real change, you are flooded by them instead, also leaving you feeling helpless and bleak.
However, to live with quintessence means you are aware of what you can and can’t control and are able to live with that. You make changes and live according to your own values and you allow others to do the same.
We do this by getting in touch with our true selves. We often miss our feelings by way of our impulses. If we have an impulse to over-think, for example, we might be missing our fear of failure. If we have an impulse to isolate maybe we’re missing our anger. It is only when we know our true feelings that we are empowered to create new experiences. We don’t have to live in a state of hand-wringing anxiety worried about things outside of our control. We can come to understand our deeper feelings and work to heal them.
Living this way is where trust comes from, we learn to trust ourselves and others when we live honestly. And that is a courageous daily practice.
These endeavors are lifelong practices, and we mess up all the time – sometimes we speak down to ourselves or hold ourselves to impossible standards. Sometimes we put outside approval over our own needs and feelings. We don’t always get it right, but we are willing to grow and learn.
Whatever is coming up for you today, whether you are experiencing negative feelings or positive ones, seek to find quintessence. To find the right balance, ask yourself:
- What do I need now?
- Who can help me?
- How can I best support myself?
- How can I love wholeheartedly?
- What makes me me?
Discovering our most authentic selves is the part that doesn’t need anything added or subtracted but is good enough as is. Just like a great pair of Levi’s, you are right where you need to be.
Other items that contain quintessence:
- The Oreo
- Tombow Markers
- Scrubdaddy Dish Sponge
- Patagonia Nano Puff Jacket
- The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
