One of my four-year-olds replied, “Mom, it’s really not good to hustle.” I asked, “Why?” and he replied, “Because you need to breathe.” That was when I realized that, in my bustling around, I hadn’t been breathing much that day.
When we are so focused on the end goal, whatever it may be—landing that next great job, getting that relationship you want, reaching your health or finance goals, on and on and on and on—we lose the joy and pleasure of the moment. Enjoying a big breath gets lost in the wake of bustling around.
I’ve been thinking—it has been a great summer in Austin—one of the best since I moved here. We’ve had rain (!!), it’s been in the 80s, there have been clouds (!!), I’ve got a good book, it has been truly lovely—but have I enjoyed it?
I’m sad to say no, I really haven’t been. I have been too focused on getting to the fruit farm.
And, often, when I finally get to where I’m going, I’m asking myself, “I’m here. Am I enjoying it? Am I doing this right? Should I be doing more?” The hedonistic treadmill is real! Satisfaction rarely sticks around long before it’s replaced with another itch – a longing, goal, or sense of urgency.
When I was obsessed with the show Succession, I listened to an interview with the guy who plays Tom. He was asked, “What was it like being on all these amazing yachts and helicopters and in these incredible NYC apartments?” He said, “It’s surprising how fast you get used to it.”
It’s true. After a few days on a fancy yacht, you feel entitled to it; it belongs to you, soon it’s time to want something else.
For better or worse, we have an inbuilt system for maintaining homeostasis. This is why drugs and alcohol don’t have the same effect when used over time; you need more and more to reach the same high you got the first time.
Perhaps this is a good thing. It means you are responsible for finding ways to enjoy your life; material things are fleeting. It’s easy to let the things you dream of owning end up owning you. (This is good because I don’t think I’ll be buying a yacht anytime soon.)
Just for today, listen to the wisest part of yourself. What do you really crave? Not material possessions or goals, but maybe inner peace, a sense of accomplishment, being proud of yourself, feeling connected, and taking a big breath.
The fruit farm can wait.
